one trick pony house-hold appliances

I have a serious obsession with appliances that do pretty much one function. I love them, which I think could grow to become a problem. I'm going to have to buy a house that has a kitchen with a ton of cupboard space. Today, I made Grandma and me one of these tasty little babies!

The Back to Basics - Egg and Muffin Toaster : The Egg & Muffin Toaster brings you the drive-thru breakfast without the drive! Simultaneously toasts and steam poaches an egg to create one of America's favorite breakfast sandwiches in about four minutes. Meat-warming tray included and even boils up to four eggs!

an email i got (i like #2)

following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on thesame night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with
him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

mind = blown

Did you know that everybody's favourite vegetable to snack on is not a baby at all but in fact a grown up. Yes, that's right, my world has been blown apart again as I have learned that baby carrots are not in fact baby's. They don't grow like that, people make them!!!! Unbelievable.

From wikipedia.org:

In North America the term baby carrot is commonly applied to either miniature carrots harvested before their roots develop or adult carrots chopped into smaller pieces. Taking fully grown carrots and chopping them into smaller pieces was the idea of California farmer Mike Yurosek.
Yurosek was unhappy at having to discard as much as 400 tons of carrots a day because of their imperfections, and looked for a way to reclaim what would otherwise be a waste product. He was able to acquire an industrial green bean cutter, which cut his carrots into two lengths, and by placing these lengths into an industrial potato peeler, he created the original baby carrot, branded "Bunny-Luv." In 2006, nearly three-quarters of fresh baby carrots produced in the United States come from Bakersfield, California.

How do ya like them baby carrots.

oh no bootsie, why???

As seen on my friend Chris' blog, she introduced me to a new book this weekend entitled Why Cats Paint.


Now, at first I was a skeptic of felines being able to paint, but as I delved deeper in to the book I became more convinced that cats really could paint. I was amazed and overjoyed at the thought of living in a magical world where cats (who don't even have opposable thumbs) can create beautiful works of art. Bootsie (seen below) described as a "trans-expressionist", was clearly the star of the book with his flamboyant flair for the dramatic painting as he would soar through the air while creating a masterpiece on his canvas.


Boy, was I duped. I was played and I wish now that I didn't research the book. I feel like the wind has been let out of my cat artist loving sails. It's like learning there is no Santa Claus, or that thunder really isn't God bowling, or worst of all, that you're never getting that baby brother you always wanted. It appears that it is one of three fictional cat art books, including Why Paint Cats and Dancing with Cats.


Check out snopes.com to read all about this soul shattering, spirit breaking news.
I'd still like to be a believer though, I mean there is something so majestic and beautiful about a cat who can paint, be painted or dance.

some more jack handy's

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

fabio-1 goose-0

Mike, Theresa and I were talking about that time that Fabio got hit in the face by a goose while on a roller coaster. How hilarious is that story. For shit and giggles, here it is.

Fabio Hit By Flying Bird on Apollo's Chariot

Williamsburg, VA - March 30, 1999 -- Supermodel Fabio suffered a one-inch cut on his nose after a bird hit him while riding the new Apollo's Chariot roller coaster at Busch Gardens Williamsburg.

Fabio was present at the park's media event to help promote the new roller coaster. Unfortunately, for the park the timing could not have been worse.

According to a witness the bird hit Fabio during the plummet down the first drop of 210 feet at speeds of up to 73 mph. Fabio returned to the station with blood all around his nose.

Fabio was taken from the park to the Williamsburg Community Hospital where he was treated and released for a minor cut.

Following the incident Busch Gardens Williamsburg spokeswoman Deborah L. DeMarco commented, "He's fine, no serious injuries."

Fabio declined to talk after the incident and instead opted to return to Los Angeles missing the evening media event.

As for the bird he did not fair so well. According to one park guest a dead goose could be seen floating in the river below the drop where Fabio was supposedly hit.

Despite the mishap, park officials kept the ride open after only a 15-minute downtime. Park officials described the incident as an unpredictable freak accident that has never occurred before at the park.

good lord lady

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - It's a girl — again — for the Duggars. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar welcomed their 17th child, and seventh daughter, into the world Thursday.

Jennifer Danielle was born at 10:01 a.m. at Saint Mary's Hospital in Rogers, Ark., the Duggars said in an interview. Jennifer weighed 8 pounds, 8 ounces and arrived five days after Michelle's due date.

Less than 30 minutes after giving birth, the Duggars already were talking of having more.

"We'd love to have more," Michelle said, adding that the girls are outnumbered seven to 10 in the family. "We love the ruffles and lace."

Jennifer joins the fast-growing Duggar brood, who live in Tontitown in a 7,000-square-foot home. All the children — whose names start with the letter J — are home-schooled.

The oldest is 19 and the youngest, before Jennifer, is almost 2 years old.

"We are just so grateful to God for another gift from him," said Jim Bob Duggar, 42, a former state representative. "We are just so thankful to him that everything went just very well."

Jennifer joins siblings Joshua, 19; John David, 17; Janna, 17; Jill, 16; Jessa, 14; Jinger, 13; Joseph, 12; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 9; Jedidiah, 8; Jeremiah, 8; Jason 7; James 6; Justin, 4; Jackson, 3; Johannah, almost 2.

The family includes two sets of twins.

Michelle Duggar said that Joshua, Janna, Jill and Jessa were at the hospital, but that the rest of the family planned to visit their new sister later Thursday.

Michelle Duggar said she started feeling contractions Wednesday night and went to the hospital at about 5 a.m. Thursday.

"It actually went fast," she said. "I guess once I started progressing, it went within 30 minutes."

Jennifer was born via a VBAC — or vaginal birth after Caesarean, Jim Bob Duggar said.

The Duggars have been featured on several programs on cable's Discovery Health Network. The next special, the Duggar Family Album, is scheduled to air next month, Jim Bob Duggar said.

Among the "fun facts" listed on Discovery Health's Web page devoted to the Duggars: A baby has been born in every month except June; the Duggars have gone through an estimated 90,000 diapers, and Michelle, 40, has been pregnant for 126 months — or 10.5 years — of her life.